What Should I Do With My Life?

For my 23^rd birthday, I received a book entitled “What Should I Do With My Life?”. Written by Po Bronson, it is collection of true to life inspirational stories of different people of different walks of life and ages, collected by the author himself about finding one’s passion.

            The truth is, this is just the second time that I have a book with an inspirational theme sitting on my bookshelf. The first one was Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life”, which I bought and read in one sitting way back in high school due to academic requirements and maybe peer pressure. I know one should read one lesson per day but I grew impatient I read the whole thing at once. The book took a view that there are more important things in life (say, our purposes, lessons to be learned, what lies ahead after death etc.) than worldly possessions and random superficial stuff (as in my case, grades) here on earth.

The good thing: It somehow made me nicer to other people. I was seriously thinking of the ‘what lies ahead after death’ lesson that I ended up being too nice I stopped competing against them and they had taken advantage of that. That didn’t do well for me. My grades started to go down and so did my class rank. Of course, the blame should not be put into the book alone but also to myself. But when you were in high school and you worked your ass off from the beginning to make your academic records pristine for you to be accepted by the university of your choice (and may I say that education is in fact important in life), you would not think that way. For you, being too nice is not an option.  

Personally, I am not a big fan of inspirational books and I truly and strongly believe that I don’t need such readings to find what the real meaning of life is but I am not against it. Friends of mine, who are into it, always have my support. It just doesn’t apply to me, I guess.

Now, going back to Po Bronson’s book, it appeared to be another one difficult read for me. It challenges my beliefs and core principles but unlike the former, I can relate to this book. 

The book as I have said is a collection of different people’s stories but the story “Uncomfortable Is Good” was the one that strikes me the most. For me, this is the flesh and blood of the entire book for it sums up the meaning of the other stories wants to convey to the readers.

Are we who we really are? Did we get easily persuaded by what the society, norms, culture and tradition, our family, friends want or dictated us to be? And if we did, is that what we really are and what we really want to be? 

 These are the questions the story tried to answer. Here, Bronson talked of people who traveled the world in search of themselves and their real purpose in life. Some found themselves, made decisions and took charge of their own lives while many others are not fortunate. They went back from their trips the same way they were when they boarded the plane. Po Bronson mentioned that one way to easily achieve your desired answer is to feel uncomfortable. With discomfort, he means not being enclosed in your usual self-box or what most call a person’s comfort zone. He said that one way of achieving this is to travel alone and unplanned. Yes, you read that right. Traveling alone can cause one great discomfort. Walking the streets of a strange place or country with a bunch of strangers for quite some time, and knowing no one can be really uncomfortable. It can be quite scary too. But that is the point, when deciding on what to do with our lives, we must decide on our own. It is our own life after all. We can consult our family or friends or we may look into the society to keep us on the ground of morality and acceptability but the verdict of our lives can only be done by us and the rest of the world is just a huge collection of strangers. On the other hand, traveling without a plan gives you a sense of adventure and makes you open your mind to possibilities. Chance is the keyword. So, when you decide for your life, maybe you can take that chance and do a giant leap of faith.

Now, you may ask me, what in it for me? What made me relate to it? Have I done a giant leap of faith? Did I travel alone ala Eat, Pray, Love so that I can find myself? My answer to all those is no. I haven’t and I have no intention of doing so.

You think I am pathetic. I am the type of person who succumbed to the manner on how I was raised and the things that are expected of me. You think I am a coward, giving up to my fear of not being accepted by the rest of the world if I am not able to achieve what I have to achieve. But I beg to disagree. I am living a perfect life and I am very glad to say that I love it. I do not need to travel alone. I do not see my family, my friends, and the society as a bunch of strangers when I am deciding for they are the reason I am who I am now. I do not have to go on an unplanned trip for following what was already in front of me is the best and most logical step to not screwing up in life. Not quitting business school, as instructed by my father, for literature which is one of my life’s passions was one of the best decisions I made in my life. Accepting a job in economics and rejecting an offer from a fashion/retail brand, as advised by a close friend, was one great example too. Take a look where those decisions took me. I am more than happy than before. 

You see, I may not be able to get a proper training in fashion and I didn’t end up becoming a designer as what I want but I get to become a fashion consultant/stylist for some, get invited to fashion shows, have the opportunity to be given media passes, meet models, designers, stylists, photographers, editors, and important persons in the fashion scene. I may not be able get a degree in Literature but I was given a chance to collaborate as a writer on a friend’s book and we are hoping for its publication. I have done and achieved what my real passions are, in a different way and scenario. At the same time, I got to live by the plan that was set out for me.

Po Bronson’s What Should I Do With My Life is a recommended book for those who are in the crossroads of their lives especially of that for their careers. It might help them find the right path and make them drive to the direction they should be heading. As for me, the book is a great realization that I am vulnerable to persuasion but at the same time I am also capable of deciding on my way just like the rest of people in those stories. The only difference between me and them is that they do not conform.  I, on the other hand, conform. I went through life the way the universe expected of me. I follow logic, one straight road, no taking chances or risks, straight ahead I went and still going. Then and there, life has been great. This is what I and the world wanted it to be. My life is a win-win situation. There is no losing end.    

PHOTO DIARY: PhFW S/S 2013

Vogue on Coco Chanel by Bronwyn Cosgrave

Vogue (1917-1918)

Photographed by Horst P. Horst

Gertrude Lawrence photographed by Cecil Beaton (1929)

Hand-tinted photograph of Coco Chanel (circa 1910)

Illustrated by Lee Creelman Erickson

Illustrated by Bouche | Vogue, September 1957

Photographed by Horst | Creation for the Ballet Russe de Monte Carlo (1939)

 

Photographed by Arnaud de Rosnay | Marisa Berenson

Photographed by Suzy Parker | Chanel, 1954

Photographed by Cecil Beaton | Coco Chanel (1965)

Photo credits: Vogue on Coco Chanel by Bronwyn Cosgrave

Who can think of fashion without Chanel in it? Who doesn’t know the little black dress, the long pearl necklaces, the tweed jacket, quilted bag, black toe cap and thick, low heels and the No. 5? Presumably, no one, except maybe for some with no sense of due style diligence, for an answer to a question like this is more likely positive but uncertain. 

I, on the other hand, have always been persistent and dedicated to the study of style. I, for once, dreamt of working for Vogue, live in Paris and wear Chanel as part of my everyday work wardrobe. I always say I will walk the streets with kitten heeled shoes on my feet, in my LBD. My No. 5, wafting. I carry with me a signboard of ‘Understated but never over elegant’. I will spend my nights alone, maybe a cigar on my right hand and a Chanel boucle green and multi-color gold button coat to keep me company or a tiny slice of opera gateau. I don’t know. Or maybe, I will not spend the night alone just like last night and some nights when I misbehaved. We will talk, long serious talks that might end up in muffled sounds and then laughter. We will get bored at past midnight. He will light a cigarette and I will opt for a bag of tea. Then we will resume with the talking and the rest is up to us.  

Yet, no one knows, no one really knows what truly happened on that night. I really do not think of the four-letter F word as most might expect of me. I poured myself on another F and in return, I let it devour me, piece by piece, leaving me nothing but a tiny spirit. But as I have said, no one really knows and maybe no one really cares or understands but of course maybe someone as potentially as you.

What am I saying here is, the world may not see nor will feel the weight of my last night’s rendezvous, my attempt to somehow cut the invisible thread that separates substance from form, lessons of money and minaudiere. Nothing will be blown out of proportion, I know. And it might not even produce secondary cosmic rays. But just like Coco Chanel, setting women free from the oppression of the corset and Bronwyn Cosgrave, Cecil Beaton, David Bailey and other celebrated photographers and illustrators featured in this book, I want humanity to be free to realize that the fashion industry is more than what most purport it to be. - AC